Vuvuzealot: (n.) An enthusiastic practitioner of the South African vuvuzela, especially in relation to the World Cup, as in "I watched the whole game and came away feeling like I'd spent an hour and a half with my head stuck in a beehive, thanks to the vuvuzealots in the crowd. Props to them, though...the sound never let up for a single freaking minute. It takes an impressive level of dedication to your instrument to pay a fuzzillion dollars for tickets to a World Cup match and spend the whole time you're there blowing that freaking horn."

To listen to the delightful sound-stylings of a masterfully-played vuvuzela, click here: http://www.vuvuzela.fm/

For a moving tribute to the instrument - film classics played on the vuvuzela - click here:
http://gizmodo.com/5587304/the-vuvuzelas-swan-song

Wittyknot: (n.) A person who thinks he or she is extremely witty, but whose torturous and labored attempts at wit leave people groaning, as in "that wittyknot tries so hard to be funny and clever, but oh man, it's just so painful to listen to. Most of it isn't funny - just lame - but he keeps going on and on about it, getting all tangled up trying make people see how clever he is."

Happy Earth Day!

Psssst...want to help Haitians displaced by the earthquake?

Take the Clinton Foundation Climate Quiz and earn $2 towards the purchase of up to 20,000 solar-powered flashlights, to provide energy-efficient lighting for Haitians living in camps, without access to electricity, due to the earthquake.

Go to http://www.clintonfoundation.org/earthday

Bland-aid: (n.) A plain, generic-looking adhesive bandage, as in "I took off the bland-aid that I got from work as soon as I got home, only to realize that we only have SpongeBob SquarePants Band-Aids...so that's why I've got Patrick on my finger. Very professional, I know."

Quotes we love...

"When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth."

Walter Bishop

"When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

Sherlock Holmes

Fictional guys are so cool.

fuzzillion: (n.) an indeterminately, and indeterminable, large number, as in "nobody is saying anything, but that acquisition must have cost us a fuzzillion dollars, what with one thing and another, and it has been nothing but trouble for us."

wicketsploitation: (n.) The thoroughly despicable gouging of US-based cricket fans who have to pay a television company a substantial amount of money to see what everyone else in the world gets to watch for free on YouTube, as in "I was all set to watch cricket on YouTube, but it's not available in the US! I have to buy a $60 package from some TV company just to watch IPL matches! It's blatant wicketsploitation! Well... there's one willow that I won't mind seeing chopped down to make cricket bats!!"

teizure: (n.) the small convulsive jump that results from being tickled, as in "he just gave my knee a little tickle and it was all I could do to keep from having an obvious teizure in the middle of the meeting."

Salad slug: (n.) A person who creeps along at a salad bar, oblivious to the line of waiting people behind them, as in "I was behind the worst salad slug in the cafeteria today...she examined each individual piece of lettuce and took her time arranging everything nicely on her plate. There was a line of people just waiting for her to finish examining every freaking piece of broccoli before committing to it."

Muzzle tov: an expression of congratulations for having silenced a loudmouth, or a description on an incident in which a loudmouth was silenced, as in "I've got to say, I've never heard anyone successfully shush that twit in a meeting once he got going...you get a big 'Muzzle tov' from me...and I'm sure I'm not alone!"

Hugry: (adj.) Feeling the need for a hug, as in "I missed you so much...I get incredibly hugry if I can't hug you several times a day."

Mauxlette: (n.) A false (or faux) mullet, as in "he keeps insisting that he had a bi-level, not a mullet back in the day, but I've seen the pictures...if that thing wasn't an actual mullet, the kindest thing you could call it would be a mauxlette. No way that was a bi-level."

Litler: (n.) A small, tyrannical child, as in "that kid is so spoiled...and his parents let him order them around because they're afraid to face another tantrum! They'd better start saying no to him and deal with the tantrums, because that kid is already a total Litler."

Cricklish: (n.) The peculiar English used when describing cricket matches, as in "I read an article about a cricket match on the BBC website and I realized that there's no way I'll be able to understand this kind of thing without a Cricklish tutor. It said "Dlishan craves deliveries on a good length so he can sweep and drive, but keeping the ball short and straight, Aamer bowled four dot-balls then enticed a top-edged pull to short fine-leg." What the heck??"

Tweenglish: (n.) The language spoken by preadolescents (from 10 to 13 years of age), called tweens, and young teenagers, as in "I thought I was doing so well, speaking Tweenglish, until I said that something that I would ordinarily have called awesome was beast...and my son looked at me pityingly and said "Mom, no one says beast anymore...now we say it's nasty." I will never be able to keep up with this."