Nothing new, nothing earth-shattering...just Happy New Year!!

Clock-nazi: (n. or adj.) The kind of person who is so rigid about time and so vicious about punctuality that they make other people frantic, as in "my sister was being her usual clock-nazi self about getting to the airport early, and made me so crazy that I rushed through my packing in a desperate attempt to avoid her disapproval and forgot to pack my bathing suit and my toothbrush."

Nanomuffin: (n.) the smallest type of mini-muffin, as in "oh man, I scarfed down about seventy-five of those nanomuffins in about 12 minutes. They were awesome."

Textease or TXTY: (n.) The result of the collision of modern technology and the English language. This language, essentially composed of acronyms and abbreviations, is easily mastered by tw/eens, to the bewilderment and frustration of their parents, as in the "IDK...my BFF Jill" commercial for Cingular.

Alternate forms: TXTI, TXTEEZ, or Textese

Bunnies: Offspring of a finger error when typing "business" and the auto-correct feature, now light-heartedly used in place of "business" in phrases such as "none of your bunnies," "mind your own bunnies," "Master of Bunnies Administration," "Better Bunnies Bureau," and "Small and Medium Bunnies."

Congratulations to President-Elect Obama and Vice President-Elect Biden!!!

Yes we did!

Although as new word enthusiasts, we did enjoy the bushisms (with new words like "misunderestimated" and statements like the following), the price of the entertainment was always just way too high.

• "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" 1/11/00
• "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." 1/27/00
• "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." 9/29/00
• "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." 10/18/00
• "It's your money. You paid for it." 10/18/00
• "I'm sure you can imagine it's an unimaginable honor to live here." 6/18/01 (about the White House)
• "There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." 9/17/02
• "We had a chance to visit with Teresa Nelson who's a parent, and a mom or a dad." 9/9/03 (describing a visit with a very ambiguous Jacksonville, Florida citizen)
  
• "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." 8/5/04
• "We look forward to hearing your vision, so we can more better do our job. That's what I'm telling you." 9/20/05 (to Katrina victims)
• "You took an oath to defend our flag and our freedom, and you kept that oath underseas and under fire." 1/10/06 (to apparently amphibious veterans)
• "These are big achievements for this country, and the people of Bulgaria ought to be proud of the achievements they have achieved." 6/11/07 (in, coincidentally, Bulgaria)
• "All I can tell you is when the governor calls, I answer his phone." 10/25/07 (referring to Governor Schwartzenegger)
  
• "And they have no disregard for human life" 7/15/08 (commenting on Afghan fighters)

Bye, Mr. Bush. Don't forget to take Mr. Cheney with you when you go.

A new toy:
Writing upside-down text...for real!
˙uoıʇɔǝs sʞuıן ןnɟǝsn ǝɥʇ ǝǝs ɹo ʞuıן sıɥʇ ʞɔıןɔ ¿ʇı op oʇ ʍoɥ ʍouʞ oʇ ʇuɐʍ ˙ǝɹǝɥ pǝʇsıן ǝq oʇ ʇou ןooɔ ooʇ s,ʇı ʇnq˙˙˙ǝsɐɹɥd ɹo pɹoʍ ɐ ʇou s,ʇı os˙˙˙ʞo

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. A winner in the 2003 Washington Post Style Invitational contest in which readers take any word from the dictionary, alter one letter, and supply a new definition.

As in "As usual, he totally delufted me...we were both falling about laughing, but she just stood there puzzled, looking at us all like we had ten heads each. The sarchasm was vast - it was like we were speaking different languages."

Definition of delufted posted 3/29/08.

Ahhhhh...some very cool words here...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/7659954.stm

Enjoy!

Dictionarese: (n.) The kind of language employed by schoolkids, managers, and bureaucrats trying to sound impressive, marked by long words and pompous phrasing, as in "every email I get from them is written in Dictionarese. The last one begins "It is our endeavor to provide delight to our customers (employees)...We thank you for being our valuable customer and seek your continual support for this arduous yet fulfilling journey towards excellence and growth." and all I could think was that I am soooooo not delighted."

Note: Dictionarese is the common language of college application essays and is rampant during SAT/GRE season.

Notwork or Nyetwork: (n.) An unreliable network that does not allow you to complete your work, as in "I'd have finished the project a day earlier if I hadn't had to deal with the stupid nyetwork they have in my office." "I spent more time waiting for that stupid notwork than I did doing the actual work."

Soul-maggot: (n.) Someone or something that slowly eats away at your soul in small ways, as in "You should get out of that soul-maggot of a job before you turn into another one of the zombies."

Related: Sanity-maggot: Someone or something with a similar effect on your sanity, as in "Sally is such a sanity-maggot - working for her was like being slowly sucked into her bizarro universe until you started thinking it was real."

Sleap: (n.) The leaps time takes as you doze in the morning, as in "I had the worst sleap this morning...it felt like one minute it was 6:30 and the next it was nearly 9!"

(v.) To doze, wake up, look at the clock, and doze again, as in "I spent the whole morning sleaping."

Var. Asleap: Dozing, as in "I wasn't asleep...I was asleap!"

Keauxl: (adj.) Pronunciation: \ˈkül\ The coolest cool. What ice aspires to be. So much better than "kewl." Cooler than anything. Keauxl.


Like this.

Spiceaphobic: (n.) A person who is convinced, often without much evidence, that he or she absolutely cannot eat spicy foods and who is afraid to try anything even remotely spicy, as in "I used to be so spiceaphobic that I wouldn't even eat Doritos. But I'm better now."

Antonym: Spiceaholic: One who continuously and joyously seeks to turn his insides into molten lava, as in "He is a total spiceaholic. He likes food so spicy it would make ordinary people cry for hours and the peppers he grows for himself are so hot that I swear they contribute to global warming."

Gigalink: (n.) An especially long URL, as in "I was looking for a picture of jasmine flowers and he sent me this gigalink that was like five miles long...the thing took up the whole IM window."

Schedulobatics: The fine art of bringing disparate and conflicting interests together to create a schedule acceptable to all, as in "his schedulobatics are amazing - he talks one group out of a day here and another out of two days there and shortens the beta until it all meets the deadline - at least on paper."

Seriousity: A generalized state of seriousness, as in "I totally can't deal with his seriousity any more - he has absolutely no sense of humor and makes everything seem like the end of the world."

Enfringe: (v.) To push to the periphery, to marginalize, as in "I don't even bother to go to his stupid meetings anymore. Why should I? He totally enfringes me and my ideas...I feel totally useless."

Ewww-turn or Whew-turn: The kind of turn executed by cars or other vehicles as they dart across multiple lanes to turn left in front of oncoming traffic. Observers use ewww-turn to describe this maneuver; participants call it a whew-turn, as in ""did you see the ewww-turn that guy just made? Why couldn't he have just waited for a real break in the traffic?" or "we were so late that I had to make a whew-turn into the parking lot...I couldn't even wait for the traffic!"

Enbraille: To enable reading in braille, as in "we not only include alternative text for screen readers...we also enbraille our manuals."

To rattle one's salad: (v.) To make a show of eating healthy foods; to gloat about one's 'proper' diet; to display a kind of smug satisfaction about one's food choices, as in "I know I'm getting kind of tedious about this health thing - I catch myself bragging about how much I ran on the treadmill and I rattle my salad in front of those guys every single day."

Salad-rattling: A display of one's healthy eating habits.

Hinty: To make it very obvious that one is trying to indirectly convey information one cannot openly state, as in "they were clearly sworn to secrecy but he was very hinty about who the next manager will be...lots of wink, wink, nudge, nudge going on."

Teamy: The state of mind of a well-integrated, enthusiastic, motivated, high-morale, cohesive team, characterized by camaraderie, pride in the group, and loyalty, as in, "they are so teamy! They do everything together, their meetings are more like parties, and everything they produce is a joint effort. They even like to hang out together on breaks and at lunchtime."

Related to esprit de corps (French).

Regretticism: That perfect, clever, zingy comeback one thinks of too long after the moment for it has passed, as in "Dang!! Why can I always come up with the best regretticisms for his nasty comments ten minutes after he leaves?"

Related to l'esprit de l'escalier (French) and Treppenwitz (German).

Apostrophilia: (n.) The condition suffered by those who use far too many apostrophes in their writing, as in, "every time I edit his stuff, I just end up removing thousands of apostrophes...what is wrong with him? Does he suffer from apostrophilia?"

Apostroholic: (n.) A person who does not understand the rules of apostrophe use and, fearing that he will look silly because he missed one, adds an apostrophe to every word ending with "s."

Apostromise: (v.) To recklessly add far too many apostrophes to one's writing, as in "That whole paragraph had been apostromised by our resident apostroholic. "

Caconference: (n.) An unmoderated teleconference that descends into cacophony when so many people talk at once that it becomes impossible to hear anyone's comments amidst the chaos, as in "I cannot stand calling in to his stupid caconferences anymore - I get the biggest headache from all of those people shouting at one another, trying to be heard at the same time."

Meleeconference: (n.) A conference call with a large number of participants, as in "he invites the whole world to those ridiculous meleeconferences of his...it drives me crazy every time!"

YPP: (n.) York Peppermint Patty...duh!


Check them out at:
http://www.hersheys.com/products/details/york.asp

Moosh: (n.) Sweet nothings that make you go "Awwwwwww!"

To bush: (v.) To blunder blithely into obviously disastrous circumstances against all advice, as in "he totally bushed the whole thing - he walked into that nightmare with a huge happy smile on his face and actually seemed surprised when it blew up, even though we all told him it would."

Alternatively, to construct a dreamlike version of the world (a bushtopia) in which one's vision is compromised (bushopia) and sees blunders as successes, disasters as promising developments, and missions as accomplished before they've really begun. To live in such a dreamworld.

Grandboss: (n.) Your manager's manager, as in "I work for Michael and Michael reports to Scott, so Scott is my Grandboss."

Wandery: Incapable of sticking to a point or an agenda. Similar to meandering but more clueless and pointless than lackadaisical or directionless, as in "that meeting was really wandery...I was there and I still couldn't tell you what it was about."

Onetenitis: (pronounced wun ten eye tis) The condition all-too-obviously suffered by the office loudmouth...the one who is always on conference calls spouting impossible percentages, mixed metaphors, mispronounciations, bizarre and inaccurate versions of cliches, and sheer ignorance and who displays his half-baked, half-remembered, clearly inadequate education at the cost of his coworkers productivity, as in "oh my god, his onetenitis is sooooo bad today - he just agreed with somebody 1 million percent and five minutes ago he was insisting that cricket is exactly like baseball."

Derives its name from the way he disagrees with people - he only agrees with them 110%.

Moustache (v.): To decorate with moustaches, as in "Did you see what happened to Pete's cube when he was out for a few days? They moustached it." As in the following illustrations:

Inspired by the moustache option in Lego Star Wars, which, when enabled, gives everyone (even R2-D2 and Yoda) moustaches.

What a pin does to skin: A polite way of obscuring that you are calling someone a moderately rude word (go on...work it out), as in "He is such a...he is what a pin does to skin." Useful in a corporate setting or when there are children present.

To go Idaho: To turn ugly or go wrong. Used in place of “to go south/north/Midwest” as in “The whole thing could go Idaho at any moment.”

Note: No offense, Idaho - it's kind of just how you're shaped. You can substitute 'New Jersey' when in Idaho.

Graffite: (v.) To create graffiti, as in, "I graffited all over his whiteboard."

Graffitor: One who graffites, as in "She is the biggest graffitor. Did you see what she did to my whiteboard?"

Walmarting: (v.) To shop at stores that specialize in lead-laden merchandise made in inhumane sweatshops by starving workers (but you can't beat the bargains!), as in "I don't usually go walmarting."

Deluft: (v.) To dump upwards of half a ton of clever sarcasm in a single blow, as in "I said they always need my blood type because it's kind of rare and he totally delufted me by saying “I bet it’s something negative.”"

Peace-head: one who believes in peaceful resolutions to conflict (syn. unBush), as in "You don't have to be a total peace-head to want us out of this stupid war."

Sanitor: a person obsessed with the use of hand sanitizer, as in "The sanitor is at it again and the smell of Purell is driving me insane."

Sanitorium: Abode of sanitors.

Tankage: The act of tanking or failing spectacularly, as in "His product's tankage was embarrassing to watch."

Sushiholic: One who is very, very, very fond of sushi, as in "She's such a sushiholic - she moans when she eats it."

Var. Sashimiholic: One who is similarly addicted to sashimi, as in "I am NOT a sushiholic - I don't eat rice. Get your facts right - I am a sashimiholic."

Ebayable: an object that would generate interest if offered for sale on eBay, as in “Will this cup be ebayable in 20 years?”

Disgruntledness: The mental state of one who is dissatisfied, annoyed, slightly resentful, and, in a word, disgruntled by life in general, as in: "That was when I was at the height of my disgruntledness."

Unlose /uhn-luz/ [un-looz]: “Process” by which you lose a negative number of games, resulting in a net gain of games won and a net loss in the number of games lost.

We have a volleyball league here at work, and something very sketchy seemed to be going on with the standings...our rival team's posted record was 12-12 in week #8, but, after playing 3 games, their record was posted as 20-10 in week #9, leading my team to wonder if we could unlose some of our games, too.

Yackage : Incessant meaningless chatter.
As in " The constant yackage drives me crazy!!"