Apostrophilia: (n.) The condition suffered by those who use far too many apostrophes in their writing, as in, "every time I edit his stuff, I just end up removing thousands of apostrophes...what is wrong with him? Does he suffer from apostrophilia?"

Apostroholic: (n.) A person who does not understand the rules of apostrophe use and, fearing that he will look silly because he missed one, adds an apostrophe to every word ending with "s."

Apostromise: (v.) To recklessly add far too many apostrophes to one's writing, as in "That whole paragraph had been apostromised by our resident apostroholic. "